four years in, we found our calling
the heart of the matter
Hi Fam!
The Village Well turns four years old this week.
Four!
In human years, that means we can put on our own shoes, tell long stories with no discernible ending, and have very strong opinions about which cup our milk comes in.
In small-business years, I think it means something like: holy shit, we made it.
When I founded The Village Well, I had a clear idea of what I wanted to build. I wanted to help parents—especially parents of color—find more calm, connection, and joy in their families. I wanted to help adults understand what was underneath kids’ challenging behavior instead of just trying to make the behavior stop.
We did that!
Thousands of parents, educators, youth workers, and organizational leaders have come through our workshops, coaching, and events. You invited us into your homes, schools, community organizations, staff meetings, and some of the hardest and most personal moments in your families.
And somewhere along the way, The Village Well became something else.
Over the past few years, more of our work has taken us into afterschool programs, summer programs, youth organizations, and other expanded learning spaces. We kept hearing versions of the same story.
We have more kids with disabilities and complex needs in our programs.
Behavior is getting harder.
Our staff are overwhelmed.
Our staff want to support them, but they don't always know how.
That last statement is where we’ve done our best work.
So today, on our fourth anniversary, we are making it official:
The Village Well is committing our work to helping expanded learning programs create safe, supportive, inclusive experiences for children with disabilities.
We want to support the child who bolts from an activity, the child who refuses to transition, the child who melts down when the room gets too loud, and the child who simply cannot sit through another 30-minute homework block.
Program staff want to solve these behavior problems. We want to help them ask a different question:
What is the child communicating through their behavior, and what can we change so this child can be successful here?
That shift is good for kids with ADHD, autism, developmental disabilities, mental health challenges, trauma, and other support needs. It’s also good for everyone else. When programs are designed to help kids feel safe, regulated, connected, all kids benefit.
But this means saying goodbye to something important.
This part is bittersweet.
As we make this commitment, we are winding down our parenting work.
I’ll continue coaching a handful of existing families but we are no longer growing this work. Parenting work gave birth to this organization. I felt called to create something that didn’t exist - positive parenting support focused on families of color. This work taught me so much about behavior, relationships, regulation, culture, disability, and what happens when adults stop asking, “How do I get this kid to behave?” and start asking, “What do we all need to thrive?”
That wisdom isn't going away. I’m just bringing those beliefs somewhere they are desperately needed.
To fully recognize this shift - WE HAVE A NEW WEBPAGE!
After months of thinking, writing, rewriting, designing, questioning everything, changing my mind, and driving my colleagues crazy, our new website is live.
Check us out at thevillagewell.com
I’m sure there are a few bugs! If you encounter one, please email us and let us know: jose@thevillagewell.com
The website reflects our evolution. Starting with this newsletter, our content is evolving too. Our primary target audience is expanded learning educators and leaders.
We'll talk about disability inclusion. Challenging behavior. ADHD and autism. Regulation. Program design. Staff support. Belonging. Leadership. Universal Design for Learning. And practical tools you can actually use when you have 30 kids in a multipurpose room and somebody is losing their shit.
Finally, Thank you.
Four years ago, The Village Well was mostly an idea in my head. You made it real.
You attended a workshop. Hired us. Forwarded a newsletter. Shared a post. Introduced me to somebody. Sent an encouraging email. Trusted me with a story about your child. Asked us to work with your staff. Challenged my thinking. Recommended us to a colleague. Came back for another training.
Most of this organization has grown through relationships. That feels especially appropriate for something called The Village Well.
A special thank you to three anchor clients who continue working with us year after year: San Francisco Department of Children Youth and Families, Kids’ Country in San Ramon, and Community Youth Center in San Francisco.
Four years in, we know what The Village Well is supposed to do.
We want kids with disabilities to be able to participate fully in the places where childhood happens after the school bell rings.
We want them playing basketball. Making slime. Going on field trips. Performing in talent shows. Building friendships. Going to camp. Screwing up. Trying again. Belonging.
We want the adults responsible for creating those spaces to have the skills, confidence, and support to say: Yes. This kid belongs here. And we know how to support them.
That's the next chapter.
Thank you for helping us get here.
And happy fourth birthday to us.
Be Well!
ed
p.s. Does your child attend an after school or summer program? Do you know anyone who works for a youth program? Please forward this newsletter to them.
my regular rant against screens
So last week was a big AI shitshow with some major players saying that AI is going to take over and destroy us in about 10 years. I’m exaggerating only slightly. Here’s a summary, and yes, I asked ChatGPT to help me write it.
First, an Anthropic researcher quit, warning that AI is advancing faster than our ability to make sure we can control it. Then something unusual happened: Anthropic CEO Dario Amodei, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman, and Elon Musk—three guys who agree on approximately nothing—publicly agreed that we need stronger safeguards and may need to slow the race toward increasingly powerful AI. Then our genius-in-chief Trump said “no sir!”, arguing that slowing down could allow China to beat the U.S. in the AI race. And there, in a nutshell, is the terrifying dilemma: the people building AI are warning that moving too fast could be dangerous, while our political leaders worry that slowing down could be dangerous, too.
We are not powerless! New York City Mayor Mamdami is trying to ban AI use until high school. No that won’t stop Skylab* but small actions are a start. I’m signing up for this Zoom session about how big tech infiltrated K-12 education and how we can fight back. Join me there!
*If you don’t get The Terminator references, I don’t know how to help you.
stories of hope
We’re used to weird stories from Florida. Here’s a beautiful one instead. A community builds a playground that centers kids with disabilities. All the kids love it.
we’re obsessed with
neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to change, reorganize, and form new neural connections. This fades with age, however, learning new things extends neuroplasticity just like lifting weights maintains or grows your muscle mass. Sure, translating texts from ancient Greek will work, but so will some much easier stuff. Here are some things I do:
Switch your computer mouse to your left hand. Bonus perk - it relieves that tendonitis!
Go through the grocery store backward. Start in the bakery, finish with produce.
Drive without your gps. Okay, I don’t do this one because I have no geographic intelligence, but it’s still a good idea.
passion fruit sorbet
Ice cream season is winding down in most of the northern hemisphere, but it just started in San Francisco. I keep my Lactaid pills in my man-purse but I don't need them for my new favorite. Buy a pint or 12 from Trader Joe’s. It’s tropical, tart, and somehow creamy.
I love Ms Jennifer Lewis so much, especially when she is unhinged. That happens frequently. Check out this interview with Keke Palmer. Make sure you listen to the part at about 22:20 when the interview goes off the rails. My LORD I laughed so hard. Warning: lots of adult language!
where we’ve been
In partnership with Temescal Associates and the How Kids Learn Foundation, we hosted a workshop and panel session focused on advancing expanded learning. We presented Building After-School Programs to Support Kids with Disabilities to share actionable strategies for inclusive youth development.
We teamed up with fatherhood advocate Juan Solis for First 5 Mendocino to present Making Plans for Father Engagement that Works—a hands-on workshop dedicated to building practical, sustainable strategies that empower dads and strengthen families.
At the CocoKids 32nd Annual Early Learning Conference, we hosted Big Feelings, Big Behaviors: Practical Tools for Early Childhood Classrooms, where we dove into real-world strategies for helping kids handle those huge emotions.
We are thrilled to launch a project to help Tandem, Partners in Early Learning expand support for kids with disabilities during preschool at TK Read Aloud sessions.